


Holding on to Nothing

by A_Queer_In_Spaceland



Series: Reconsilation is Never Easy [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Ficlet, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, They don't love each other, angst and nothing more, love by proxy I guess, past Megatron/Orion Pax - Freeform, past Starscream/Skyfire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 12:45:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Queer_In_Spaceland/pseuds/A_Queer_In_Spaceland
Summary: Two broken mechs trying to patch the wounds their respective losses have inflicted and coping the way you think they would -not at all.





	Holding on to Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> This is mostly my speculation about why these two never managed to kill each other.

They always ended up like this. No matter the fight, no matter the betrayal, it always led to here. Mere hours ago, Starscream had been poised to kill the mech running a servo down his side. Just yesterday Megatron had debated the merits of keeping his second in command alive. But here they were again, curled around each other holding on with everything they had.

Over the millennia this had become one of the few constants for both mechs. When the ache in their sparks got too much, when ghosts emerged to rip open half-healed oozing wounds they would find each other. 

It wasn’t about the interfacing not really. It was the proximity. The solace that for this night, for these moments their truce was unshakable, and they were safe. It wasn’t healthy, Primus they both knew that. But this was war, and the mechs their sparks yearned for were lost to them. 

Starscream had never asked who it was Megatron pretended to hold, and the warlord afforded his seeker the same courtesy. But neither was a fool, and in the throws of passion sometimes the other slipped. Megatron had no basis for whom “Sky” could be, but the flight commander was well versed in politics and the name of the Prime, even before his ascension was hard to miss. Still this lost love or whatever his leader had with the Autobot’s messiah was a topic he didn’t touch.  


It had started violent, all those vorns ago, long before the exodus as the flames of war were only just taking hold. Their frustrations were taken out on each other, sparks flying as they collided and clawed servos left painful trails. But when the anger was gone, when they were lying there, bared open it had been Starscream who broke first. The prideful mech falling apart in the wake of their coupling. 

“He’s gone.” Was all that managed to pierce through the sobs. Ragged vents were calmed eventually as Starscream syphoned off the steely calm coming from the mech loosely holding him in place. Without another word Megatron had left. Starscream had followed him and preparations for the next battle began, their quiet ever-present aches soothed for now but not banished. 

It was an unspoken secret, this weakness between them. Soundwave perhaps guessed, but no one could know how after every confrontation with the Prime, the decepticon warlord crawled into Starscream’s berth. Megatron would shake and murmur apologies not meant for the seeker and Starscream would curl around him and imagine they were. The warlord would say what he could never say to his ex-lover and Starscream would hear what his own lost love could never say.  


It was a damaged, broken way to cope. But they were damaged, broken mechs. It worked. 

Or it did, until Megatron watched the silent horror and elation play across his second in command’s face as a frozen shuttle, designation Skyfire, was brought online. 

For the first time there was no one to hold Megatron as the weight of his loss crashed down on him in the midst of a re-charge cycle. For the first time in vorns, he was truly alone. 

It didn’t last. 

Megatron couldn’t say he was glad to have the seeker shuddering through a tearful overload under him, but he had never been glad about their arrangement, neither of them had been glad for it. Relieved, but never happy. Their status quo returned. The Decepticons fought the Autobots. War continued to rage, and they held each other, wishing for someone else.


End file.
